I Believe
by ReeReeWithAngst
Summary: Esperanza always loved Hephaestus. And even though she's better with machines, her last longing love letter will try to convey how much she truly loves him.


The first thing you said to me was that you though I was beautiful. And then... You told me you thought you were ugly. I don't know why, but I was looking at you... I promise you. You weren't ugly to me. Nothing about you was ugly. Strong, yes, intelligent, more than I had seen in any other guy. But not ugly. Never ugly. I liked how you stuttered shyly, complimenting me, but could talk for hours without a stutter when talking about machines. It was cute. You told me you loved me and I couldn't stop smiling because I had been waiting months for you to get the courage to say that.

When I was pregnant with Leo, you know I understood that you had had other girls. I understood that I could not be yours forever but I cherished you anyway. I cherished you holding my hand when it hurt, or when I was sick. I cherished the passion in your eyes when you looked at me, a passion I had used to think you only got from tools and machines. But I know you loved me. You said it every chance you got. You said it so much that I knew that if nothing else in the universe was true at least you loved me with all your heart. I saw that in everything you do. The way you made little machines to make my life easier. And you let me help, when I wanted to. You didn't say no, this isn't for girls. You didn't say know, you're pregnant you shouldn't. You knew I was passionate about engineering too. YOu loved that about me, you loved everything about me, and I loved everything about you. It wasn't that you were the perfect prince charming I'd been promised by fairy tales. You were greasy and short and a little hairy and a lot grubby but you were a genius with machines and you spoke their language, our language. You were the one who taught me Morse code, so that when we were alone in the workshop we could tap it out to each other. Later I taught that to Leo, and it means just as much when he taps out I Love You as when you do. When you did. I wish I could have you back, darling I love you with all my heart and I miss you. But I understand. You live in a world beyond my own. You're special and I'm just one of your girls... But I know you love me.

You compared me to Aphrodite once. The prettiest goddess in all of Olympus, your own personal wife. And then you laughed, as if she'd done you a thousand wrongs and for a second I considered despising you, you know I hate what hurts you. But then, those eyes of yours that hold such sadness, they smiled for me.

"You're more beautiful than a thousand Aphrodites." You told me.

"And smarter, and kinder." I smiled when you said that. And blushed. You stuttered. I still found your stutter endearing. Leo doesn't stutter. He talks big, brave, confident. Guess he gets that from me. And his great grandpa, Sammy. I wish he could have known you. I used to have dreams of him calling you daddy. You teaching him how to build better than I could ever teach him. I should have known it would come naturally to him. He's so much like you. I know, where ever you are, you are proud of him because I ame. And I know that we almost always agree.

I never got tired of you. I hope you know tha. I never got exasperated. Not even when you left. I always knew that you would leave. I was sad when you went. I only cried the last time, when I knew I wouldn't see you again. That time I fretted that I hadn't said I love you enough. Or told you how much I believe in you. I don't know if I ever got to tell you that you were my light, my life. I don't know if I ever told you that you were the only person I had ever loved, and that the only person I love more is our little boy. I don't know if I can do that now. WE used to sit and talk for hours. About everything, you know? The universe and the gods and the hurt we'd both felt. About my family, and yours. The debate we had until we decided on the name Leo for our little gift. WE used to compare ideas. I never got tired of that. Those made my days. I miss talking to you. I can't do this to you anymore. I can't hold on to these memories, I'm sure you've moved on. I hope you've moved on. I wish that I could but I can't. I remember you when I wake up in bed alone. I remember you when I wake up in bed with Leo snuggled in beside me because a bad dream made him feel insecure. You used to have bad dreams, and I know you still get insecure, wherever you are without me.

You think you're ugly. I think you're wonderful. You called me smart, I call you brilliant. You told me I was kind, let me tell you that you were the kindest man I ever knew and I hope every day that our son grows up to be like you. I know that we will never be together again. It hurts me to remember. But it also makes me happy. I fondly remember those days, and I will always cherish them because the mortal cannot move on. I love you, Hephaestus. I will always love you. You mean the world to me.

I believe in you.

I always have.

I always will.

And I love you.

Goodbye.


End file.
